Reframing Your Past
Recently, someone approached me to share a disappointing experience they had at a funeral for a beloved family friend. They were struggling with mixed feelings about how it went, which is understandable as funerals are highly emotional events. I offered them—and now offer you—the idea of reframing your past the same way you can reframe your future decisions. Tell a different story.
We can get bogged down by past experiences, and while I’m not suggesting you trivialize a traumatic event or forgo needed support, there is space for reevaluation, especially when disappointment arises. It’s okay for situations to be complicated, especially when faced with emotionally charged events like funerals, weddings, big family gatherings, or other high-stakes emotional events. But you have the power to decide.
Here’s your opportunity to reframe the past. Consider the story you’re telling about these events. We are the decision-makers; we decide what these experiences mean. Even if the situation feels prickly or challenging, I encourage you to retell the story in a new light.
Take a moment to ask yourself:
- How can I retell this story as a heroine’s or hero’s journey?
- How did it work out in my favor?
- How did I overcome adversity?
- What did I learn about myself?
Our brains are capable of framing our past or future in many ways, which is quite magical. When I discussed this approach with the woman struggling with her funeral experience, it was wonderful to see her face light up as she realized she was the heroine of her own story. She could narrate her experience in a way that allowed her to persevere and be nourished by the memory of her loved one who had passed.
This week, try reframing your past. See how it transforms your perspective as you move into the future.
Decision Coach & Co-Founder of Clarity4Action
