Rainbow Over the Valley

By starting with our values

In my own life, sometimes it can feel like I just can’t get my family to agree on a plan. I’m reminded there’s an easier way of coming to consensus by starting with our values.

Reflecting on a recent conversation I had about how our values shape our actions, I’m reminded of their dual nature. Values like community, creativity, and independence don’t just guide us; they also reflect our deepest needs.

But here’s where it gets interesting: our strategies to meet these needs can sometimes clash, especially when interacting with others. This is when family conflict can arise or we can feel like none of us are on the same page.

This isn’t just a hurdle; it’s an opportunity to deepen our understanding and find common ground.

When faced with conflicts, I encourage you to look beyond the immediate disagreements.


  • “What needs are we each trying to meet?”
  • “What values are driving these needs?”

This perspective helps us see the shared values beneath our differing approaches, leading to solutions that resonate on a deeper level.

So, this week, let’s embrace this approach in our decision-making:

  • Identify the underlying needs in any discussion.
  • Connect these needs back to our shared values.
  • Aim for decisions that respect and reflect these values, fostering creativity and consensus.

By doing so, we not only resolve conflicts more gracefully but also ensure our decisions strengthen the bonds of our community, aligning closely with the values we cherish.

    Warm regards,

    Amy Day

      Decision Coach