Rainbow Over the Valley

Happy New Year! 🎉

For the last four years, I acted as my mother-in-law’s durable medical power of attorney. It’s been a rollercoaster of coming alongside her as we made decisions together and finally acting as her decision proxy when she couldn’t voice them herself. 

The twist? This autonomy dance isn’t just an end-of-life tango; it’s also the rhythm of parenting, guiding our little ones and ultimately facilitating responsible decision-making during the transition to adulthood.

In this month’s Thoughtful Thursdays, I’m diving into the concept of graduated decision autonomy in life. Think of decision autonomy as a bell curve. At the beginning of our lives we are low on the curve where others act as our decision proxies making choices on our behalf. Our decision autonomy peaks with things like landing our first job, navigating careers, choosing a life partner, or having a family. It dips again toward the end of life – where decisions need a loving support system, just like when we were little.

As we gain decision independence, we rely on whatever good or bad decision process we learned from our parents or mentors about how to make life choices.

Here’s your part.

Start by understanding your values and how they inform your decisions. 

  • Take a moment today to ponder your core values. What fuels your passion? 

Then, extend that curiosity to your crew – those partners in decision-making and the ones you’re guiding as a decision proxy. 

  • What matters to them?

For instance two people could value family. For a child, a measure of that value could be weekly playdates, while an older soul might cherish shorter, thoughtful visits. It’s about understanding their values and measures, not ours, when we’re in decision-proxy mode.

Stay tuned for more videos on being a decision proxy, supporting others, and crafting decisions based on a system that builds confidence and self-trust.

Take care, and here’s to a fantastic year of growth and meaningful choices!


    Amy Day

      Decision Coach