Make higher quality decisions.
I was talking with a friend of mine about how her 10- and 15-year-old kids process decisions so differently. As a mom of three 20-something kids myself, I see it in my own family as well. One piece of wisdom that I’d love to offer you today is ways to support your kids in integrating their head and heart to make higher quality decisions.
One of my sons is well-grounded in his head, in logic, and that’s his strength. He thinks about making a checklist, and creating measures and criteria to reason it through. My other kids spend more time in their hearts wanting to create a feeling and experience; they use their intuition to connect with what feels right. Of course the thinker feels deeply and the feelers have great minds.
Support your kids in their strengths, whether their head or heart, and then offer them an upgrade.
I like to ask questions to the other side,
to the side that’s not quite as strong or maybe not listened to as much.
- For the person who’s in their head, I might ask them, “What would you like your experience to feel like?” I get them to describe self-expression, fulfillment, and feelings.
- For the person who is in their heart, I sometimes ask, “What could you do specifically? Describe it.” I ask questions about criteria, what it looks like, and details.
So rather than quieting the side that is strong for us, let’s play to our strengths! And then let’s also ask questions to the other half to create balance and integrate our decision making.